why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
