What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
