I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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