before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
