I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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