You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
So much Jack, so little girl.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
