I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
