I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
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you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
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And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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