youre lurking in front of me
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
