I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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