You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
