thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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