maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
