grandma shit on top of the toilet
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
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