It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
this boner is exhausting
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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