I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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