You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
