Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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