I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
