I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
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