And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Randomize
