i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
