everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
My vagina just clenched in fear
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
