also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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