All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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