I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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