What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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