oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
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all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
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I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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