do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
