VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Randomize