I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
