This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
