I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
