k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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