Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
