My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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