I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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