All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
