You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Randomize
