My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
thus making me awesome and them whores
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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