its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
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