We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
