i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
