but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
