He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
