Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
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