he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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