Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
