You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
