he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
