I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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