i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
