I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
