The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize