Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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