PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
