dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
