Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I am never drinking with the goths again.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
