Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
