at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
