What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
