yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
