There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
