Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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