Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
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recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
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If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.