Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
My vagina is officially offended.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"