oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I need water and some morals
Randomize
