You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days