After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.