Texts From Last Night

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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans

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  (336): nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans http://tfl.nu/j158
  Replies (16) Good night (7169) Bad night (659)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK

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  (517): she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK http://tfl.nu/ybgq
  Replies (65) Good night (949) Bad night (8920)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.

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  (937): after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head. http://tfl.nu/3prw
  Replies (45) Good night (10622) Bad night (4361)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.

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  (845): We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer. http://tfl.nu/d9h5
  Replies (11) Good night (3044) Bad night (753)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?

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  (812): Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver? http://tfl.nu/nssb
  Replies (5) Good night (1657) Bad night (553)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point

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  (925): But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point http://tfl.nu/knq2
  Replies (5) Good night (1158) Bad night (674)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself

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  (401): I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself http://tfl.nu/9jsd
  Replies (12) Good night (1533) Bad night (706)
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.

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  (478): I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second. http://tfl.nu/3zb1
  Replies (2) Good night (1050) Bad night (512)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.

  (512): View more from Texas

  Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.

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  (817): I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night. (512): Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there. http://tfl.nu/r01e
  Replies (4) Good night (2086) Bad night (485)
• Favorite

  (+31): View more from The Netherlands

  Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend

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  (+31): Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend http://tfl.nu/3jzb
  Replies (0) Good night (284) Bad night (452)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.

  (714): View more from California

  Worser: she offered to clean me up

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  (714): Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted. (714): Worser: she offered to clean me up http://tfl.nu/1w2l
  Replies (11) Good night (346) Bad night (865)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays

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  (214): I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays http://tfl.nu/86wu
  Replies (0) Good night (441) Bad night (228)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.

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  (303): There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade. http://tfl.nu/4krw
  Replies (1) Good night (577) Bad night (503)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level

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  (412): I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level http://tfl.nu/bgaz
  Replies (3) Good night (494) Bad night (926)
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying

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  (225): Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying http://tfl.nu/s94h
  Replies (6) Good night (290) Bad night (343)

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