I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
A bitchslap is in order.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
