Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.

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(617): I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian. http://tfl.nu/jfuh

Replies (30) Good night (3328) Bad night (637)
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(507): View more from Minnesota

As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.

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(507): As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September. http://tfl.nu/oogz

Replies (19) Good night (4832) Bad night (800)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

It's always exciting to touch a new boob.

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(814): It's always exciting to touch a new boob. http://tfl.nu/e374

Replies (12) Good night (6795) Bad night (773)
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(253): View more from Washington

The pine trees are waving at me.

(907): View more from Alaska

Put the pipe down honey.

(253): View more from Washington

Hi trees.

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(253): The pine trees are waving at me. (907): Put the pipe down honey. (253): Hi trees. http://tfl.nu/6b23

Replies (17) Good night (8398) Bad night (1953)
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(512): View more from Texas

I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.

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(512): I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me. http://tfl.nu/y2u9

Replies (10) Good night (1031) Bad night (3304)
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(907): View more from Alaska

marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it

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(907): marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it http://tfl.nu/qmr1

Replies (2) Good night (1421) Bad night (549)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.

(1+44): View more from

When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.

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(+44): You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man. (1+44): When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree. http://tfl.nu/esvb

Replies (9) Good night (1773) Bad night (1172)
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(585): View more from New York

You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!

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(585): You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura! http://tfl.nu/nzmy

Replies (15) Good night (2948) Bad night (791)
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(925): View more from California

But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point

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(925): But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point http://tfl.nu/knq2

Replies (5) Good night (1211) Bad night (730)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.

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(843): Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex. http://tfl.nu/rb17

Replies (11) Good night (613) Bad night (1926)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.

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(919): Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday. http://tfl.nu/t5o9

Replies (2) Good night (1047) Bad night (524)
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(901): View more from Tennessee

its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages

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(901): its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages http://tfl.nu/zo01

Replies (9) Good night (788) Bad night (1311)
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(314): View more from Missouri

Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON

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(314): Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON http://tfl.nu/vk77

Replies (6) Good night (1276) Bad night (714)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.

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(814): There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer. http://tfl.nu/un9n

Replies (4) Good night (973) Bad night (358)
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(607): View more from New York

I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.

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(607): I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time. http://tfl.nu/1wgm

Replies (1) Good night (471) Bad night (157)

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