just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
